Tell Me About Pregnancy
by extra-victory
Summary: "Look on the bright side-" He teased, as she struggled to slip her shoes back on, impeded by seven months of pregnancy. "At least your breasts are growing-" Maou x Emi, Adult Themes, Adult Humor, Lemon


**Ex-V: I hope you like it!**

Maou groaned, hand coming up to cover his eyes, reclining comfortably on his couch, acknowledging the furious pounding on his front door.

Slowly, _slowly_ , hoping to find a Jehovah's witness, a _really annoying_ salesman, or, indeed, a bloodied ax-murderer, instead of his pregnant girlfriend on the other side of his apartment door, Maou climbed up off the couch, and made his way through the living room.

The knocks on the door grew more intense, more violent, and Maou grinned, faintly, aggravated.

No, only one person could _possibly_ annoy him _this much_ through a wall and fifteen feet of empty space…

The king of hell opened the front door, hesitantly, to find Emi, glaring across at him, furious, arms crossed.

"…" Maou watched her, unimpressed, for a moment, in silence, as she just fumed at him.

" _Finally_ -!" She snapped, at last, foot tapping impatiently. "I think I was about to _die_ of _old age_ -"

"Good, Emi." Maou checked the watch on his wrist, twitching, grinning. "It's already seven, I was afraid I might have a nice, relaxing day."

"Don't change the subject-" She snapped. "I think you could've answered the door faster if you were a _glacier_ -"

He laughed, smirking, turning slightly away. "Fine. Well, just wait there a second, and I'll blow out this wall, so you won't have to try fitting that _enormous stomach through the door-"_

"Good, do it-!" She shrieked, flushed, bright red, and tried to slap him, as he stepped deftly back out of the way. "That'll save you _time_ , when you're looking to get that _massive ego_ into your apartment-!"

Emi followed him, seething, into the flat, dropping her purse down on a chair by the door, as he sighed, meandering off, the ghost of a smile still playing along his cheeks.

A moment of silence, as he turned back to face her, hands in his pockets, bored. "Well, what do you want, then-?"

She just glared at him, hands on her hips, for a moment, before blushing faintly, and looking sourly away.

He just stared at her, nonplussed, as she refused to speak, glowing red.

"What-?" He grinned, wickedly, when she didn't move, and just stood there, trembling, flushed. "Are your _hilarious hormonal cravings_ raging inside you? Want me to rip a hole in space-time, traveling the _infinite multiverse_ , searching for that _comically unhealthy caramel apple gelato again_ -?"

"A trip to the local supermarket would suffice-!" She squeaked, embarrassed, furious, holding her belly, eyes narrowing at him. "And _no_ , for your information-!"

Silence. He watched her, waiting, grinning.

"Although…I do want some-" She admitted, at last, whirling around, turning away, bright red.

He laughed, and she felt a vein throb in her temple, as he approached her, quietly, snickering.

"Look-!" She growled, facing him, irritated, radiantly red, meeting his eyes. "Maybe if you didn't _infect me_ with the _literal spawn of Satan-!"_

He stepped into her face, eyebrow rising. "If I promise to buy more gelato, will that get you off my case?"

She sniffed, after a moment. "That's the _least_ you can do for the _mother of your child_ , useless devil-"

He prodded her chest, eyes glinting villainously. " _Excellent_. Now, Waddle over to the door, and I'll-"

She squealed, bright red, kicking him in the shins, as he laughed, and cursed, taking a step back.

Emi stormed out of his living room, heatedly, steaming red. " _I hate you!_ I'm not even that big-!"

He grinned, following her. "That's true. Your stomach's gravitational field only _mildly_ disturbs the tides-"

She shrieked, hurling an apple from the counter towards his face, which he caught easily in one hand. "Try not to displace the _sun_ with that giant head of yours, jackass-!"

He cackled, watching as she stomped away, in a huff.

"Look on the bright side-" He teased, as she struggled to slip her shoes back on, impeded by seven months of pregnancy. "At least your breasts are growing-"

She flushed, veins throbbing in her temples, furiously red, and choked on her breath, whipping the shoe in her hands at him.

Maou snatched it out of the air in front of his face, and tossed it back to her, leisurely, grinning wickedly. "If they grow much bigger, you'll need a training bra-"

She yelped, blushing, crimson red, and tried to stab him with Better half, as it materialized in her hand. Maou sidestepped her with cool ease, very much enjoying her encumbered physical condition.

Emi whimpered, unbelievable heat in her face, and she managed to get her coat back on. She turned away from him, after a moment, haughty, turning her nose up, and made to leave, but her hand froze, instantly, in the air above her purse.

Nothing moved.

Silence.

She could feel his eyes on her, as she trembled, for a moment, hand paused, in the air, over her handbag, before she left without it, very poignantly, blushing, sourly.

Maou watched her go, fascinated, interestedly, as she slammed the door heatedly, and her footsteps stormed down the stairs outside.

 _(That night)_

Emi opened her front door, just a bit, cracking it open, slightly sheepishly, still faintly red, peering outside.

Maou was standing on her doorstep, grinning, with a supermarket shopping bag on one arm, holding her purse in the other.

She let him in, heartbeat hammering, flushed, saying nothing, and he cast her a smug, knowing look, as he walked past her, into her kitchen, dropping a fresh box of gelato off in the fridge, before binning an empty case of caramel apple ice cream.

Emi just watched him, wringing her hands, nervously, heat in her face and body, until he wandered back over to her, in the living room, dropping her purse off on the dining room table.

"You know-" he whispered, eyes flashing, approaching her, stepping right up to her, as she tugged her hair, anxiously. "You can just ask for sex."

She squeaked, bright red, as he touched her chin, pressing her gently backwards, pushing her down onto the couch.

 **Ex-V: Did you like it? Did you have fun? I really hope so!**

 **See you in the next chapter!**


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